I'm just sitting there at Binion's, drink in hand, sunglasses on, checking out my position on the river as 17-time champion Phil Hellmuth looks on. What do I care? I'm just waiting on Fourth Street for the turn card to bring four-of-a-kind glory. As you can see, this is my benediction. Four of a kind? Not really, but close enough brothers.

This bountiful bonanza of decadent distortion is brought to you by a man only known as Chuck. Chuck is known for two things. His exquisite taste in pedals and knowledge of all things metal. You want a band that looks like they rolled all up on a centaur looking like Thulsa Doom? Not a problem, how's that, Chuck? Yeah, I'll tell em. Chuck said Manowar would do just fine.

"Lee, get on with it, brother; the Simpsons are coming on." Easy, chief, I'm getting there. Now, without further adieu, let me introduce you to the contestants. What we have is an 85 Ibanez ST-9, an 83 ST-01 an 86 Super Tube, and a Maxon ST-9 Value? Hold up, let me call Chuck. Chuck said $1895. More than fair. As for the condition? Check them out. Nice? Of course, I'm always bringing you quality over here.

In closing, I get it. Not everyone is looking four-of-a-kind. But you and I both know the subtleties of tone are subjective, and these are quite the collector's item. Phil Hellmuth, what an honor, and say who?

"I'm so much better off when I trust my instincts. But they're not perfect."

Join the club, bro; I've been doing that for years, trusting my instincts, that is. I've been a risk-taker all of my life, but you don't have to be. I sell certainty and no doubt with a sense of flare.